What does it look like to see past a person’s mess and love them anyways?
For the past three months, I’ve had the privilege of interning at a domestic violence shelter. The way it all happened really was a God thing because I knew nothing about it starting out and it has changed my life. It’s such a humbling blessing to meet hurting people with heartbreaking stories and to get to speak life and hope back into them. I’ve learned so much from the residents but equally as much from the staff and the incredible love I seem them pour out, over and over again. One of the most beautiful examples of this happened last week.
There was a young woman named Rachel (name changed for protection) staying at the shelter. Now with three small kids of her own, she found herself back in the same shelter she spent time at when she was a child. Over the nearly two months they stayed there, she and her children worked their way into the hearts of every staff member. They all grew to love this family deeply and invested significant time and hope into them. While the staff always wants what’s best for the women they serve, this program is not simply about rescue but empowerment… so they provide as must guidance as possible, but the women must ultimately make their own choices. One of the hardest things about this career is watching women leave the shelter to return to their abusers. It may seem crazy, but it’s actually fairly common and not so hard to understand once you’re on the inside of it all. This is what happened with Rachel. It broke the staff’s hearts to watch her leave, but all they could do was let her go and be ready to help pick up the pieces if needed. That evening, she called back in tears, sure that she had made the wrong decision. As her abuser yelled in the background and the situation escalated, the staff asked calmly, “Rachel, do you want to come back?” And when she returned, they were waiting for her with open arms. They saw past her decisions and mistakes and loved her anyways. This is grace.
Grace: Love and mercy shown to a person who has done nothing to deserve it.
In the Bible, Jesus sometimes told stories to help explain concepts that would otherwise be very abstract and difficult to understand. One such story is called The Parable of the Lost Son, and Jesus told it to help people understand how big and unconditional God’s love is. It’s about a son who took his father’s money, left home, and foolishly spent it all. Realizing he had nothing left to live on, he planned to return home and beg his father to let him be his servant since he no longer deserved to be his son. But what the father did when he saw his son coming up the road paints a picture of God’s love for us: “While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him” (Luke 15:20). Then he had a great party because not only did he forgive the son who wronged him, but he welcomed him back with open arms and loved him just the same as before. This is grace.
This is the way God loves us. Every time we make a decision He doesn’t want us to make, turn away and leave, throw the gifts He has given us back in His face, or break His heart… He looks at us with arms that are wide open and love that is unchanged. And He holds us close and whispers, “I love you just the same. Let’s try again.” This is grace. It’s beautiful, and it sets Christianity apart from every other religion in the world… that our God still loves us no matter how badly we mess up, when we’ve done nothing to deserve it and everything to not deserve it.
And this is the same grace we are called to extend to each person we meet… the kind that leads us to see past their mess and love them in the midst of it all. Because visions of grace speak a mightily beautiful story, and the world needs to hear it.
