I’m Leaving Again… But It’s Different This Time.
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory…” –Ephesians 3:20-21.
Two years ago, I flew to Panama to begin this thing called the World Race. I didn’t fully understand what it was, but I was trusting that it would be great. I wanted an adventure; I wanted to see the world; I wanted to serve people; I wanted my faith to grow. All of these things happened, but in God’s faithful character, He did immeasurably more. He changed my life. That year shifted my priorities, altered the way I see the world, and made my heart beat for something new. The transition home was hard because there was a space between life on the Race and life back home that I didn’t know how to navigate. But it was a beautiful tension because it reminded me that I was different, that I hadn’t just taken a yearlong break from my normal life but rather had lived a year so fully that it changed my “normal.” While getting a job would have made sense, I knew that my next season was meant to be one of very intentional growth, a chance to continue and solidify what I began learning on the Race. So I moved down to Georgia and have spent the last seven months in a discipleship and leadership training program. It has been incredible. Once again, God did more than I imagined or hoped He would. I found power in my story that I used to think was too simple to be used. I began to discover my calling. I found my true worth. I’ve embraced who I am and found a beautiful freedom because I’m no longer living to please people. I learned to live more boldly because I finally see how much I have to offer. And by truly integrating all that I’ve learned into my everyday life, I’ve learned to not simply go on mission trips but to live a life on mission.
I am forever grateful for this organization, for the people here, and for all that they’ve constantly poured into me over the last two years. God used them all to truly bless and shape my life. But we’re meant to give away what we receive, and now it’s my turn to pour out…
Beginning in October, I will be leading a squad of fifty-three young adults on their own journey around the world! We’ll be spending three months each in Ecuador, India, and Zambia, discovering more of God’s character and sharing His love with the nations. So I was gone for a year, home for a year, and am leaving again for another nine months?? Yes… but it’s different this time. This one’s not for me. I’m not doing this one for my adventure, or only for my faith to grow, or for all the cool ministry I’ll get to do. I know God has a great journey for me in this all, but I’m doing this one for the fifty-three people I have the privilege of leading. I’m doing this one because I’ve seen what I have to offer, and I want others to have the same life-changing opportunity I had. It’s also different because this one feels tougher than the last. Partly, it’s because I feel the weight of this chance to steward so many lives, and I want to do it well. But it’s also because I know what I’m missing this time. My brother is starting Flight School, and I would give almost anything to be there for that day. My grandparents are getting older. My friends are getting married. I would love to live in the same place as my sister. The thought of this trip leading to even one more sleepless night for my parents makes me want to cry. Yes, I still have a strong sense of wanderlust, but honestly, I’m not aching to leave again for so long. I know how much changes in a year and how difficult it is to miss it all. But I understand, now more than ever, that it’s worth it. I know that my purpose is bigger than what’s in this life, I’ve seen what happens when people abandon what’s familiar to fully step into the fullness of what God has for them, I’ve seen what God does through this experience, and I am humbled and blessed beyond words to get to walk this journey alongside these people.
I spent the past two weeks meeting them and helping to train them for this coming year. Let me tell you, they are some amazing people!
Meet Kacie, Sam, and Kaiden! The three of us in matching shirts are squad leading together, and Sam is our squad mentor. We’re weird, we laugh a lot, and I’m so thankful and blessed to be on their team! God clearly hand-picked us all to be together.
This is J-squad! These are the incredible World Racers we get the joy of leading this year. I’ve never met a group of fifty-three college-aged people who are so on fire for The Lord! They’re people of fun, depth, freedom, and hunger for what God has planned. I look at them and humbly ask, “Why me?” Watch out world, Gap J is coming for you!
For a long time, I said God was the most important part of my life, when in reality, great things like my family won out. That’s changed now. I’ve learned to put Him at the center of not just my heart but my actions too, and this means saying “yes” when He calls me to leave again. I would love for you to be part of this journey by praying for our squad and by following my blog posts to hear stories of what God is doing. I’m expecting Him to do incredible things… and I know that He will show up to do even more than what I’m asking for and imagining! My prayer is that in every piece of it, He gets all the glory.
